Self Defense with Grayce Wey

By: Tina Chuang

Frightening? It doesn’t have to be. By learning some of the basic principles of self-defense, you can take control of your life and your safety whether you’re at home, in the parking lot of the mall, or in the clutches of an attacker.

A Taiwanese-American known for teaching krav maga and traditional kung-fu, Grayce Wey has devoted her time giving self-defense classes around the community. She returned to her cultural roots several years ago by studying traditional kung-fu. Knowing the fact that the number of domestic violence victims has increased, NATWA II held a self-defense class on March 20^th in the home of member Joann Lo. Wey was invited to teach facts about domestic violence and self-defense and to get the girls ready to learn in action.

When confronted by an attacker, you will probably only have a split second to make the decision as whether to run for help or stay and fight. Contrary to your instincts, running away isn’t always the best solution. “Using your body as a weapon, you can fight your way out of a dangerous situation. You need to know which parts of your body make the best weapons and how to use them,” said Wey. But what are the natural weapons every woman possesses? The class named six parts of the body –hands, elbows, knees, head, feet and teeth. “To truly end an attack and make a successful escape, you’ll need to know which parts of your attacker’s body are the most vulnerable and the most vital. Hit them where it hurts, “said Wey. In order to inflict maximum pain, eyes, groin, and throat are good areas to aim for. “The elbow and forearm make for great weapons against an assailant. The key is to twist at the waist and throw all the weight and power of both your upper and lower body into the hit. When used correctly, the elbow can cause a lot of pain in the ribs, sternum, diaphragm, throat and groin,” said Wey.

Also, the skull is made of very hard bone that can do a lot of damage when brought in contact with the fragile parts of an assailant’s face, particularly the nose. Whether you’ve been grabbed from the front or from behind, slamming your head into an attacker’s face can cause a lot of pain.

By showing the techniques in action, girls in class were paired up for practice. They used their foot to kick an attacker’s ankle, calf, or Achilles’ tendon or use their heel to stomp down on an attacker’s instep.

You don’t have to live in fear. While avoiding dangerous situations in the first place by being aware of your surroundings is the better choice, knowing how to take down an attacker if you have to is vital to your safety.

“In order for any of these moves to be effective, they need to be practiced in a safe environment. Don’t expect to know or remember what to do in the heat of the moment when you’re feeling afraid. Instead, grab a friend or spouse and practice on them. Practice some of the basic moves of self-defense until they feel like second nature to you,” said Wey.

You might just save your own life someday, but even if you never need to employ these skills, the strength and empowerment you’ll feel as a result are a wonderful bonus.

Sunday Panel-Feel Good Inside and Out

By: Amy Lee

The panel on Sunday, “feel good inside and out” featured panelists Ruth Hsueh, Alice Liang, Alice Tong, and Nancy Yu. The panel started with moderator Christine Leu’s introduction of the topic. She mentioned her grandmother in Taiwan who is almost 100 years old who is still feeling good inside and out. While the Canadian accent of “out” intrigued most of the audience, each panelist’s interesting career caught everyone’s attention.

Ruth Hsueh clears up some of the stereotypes people have for her profession as a dietician. People usually think of a dietician as someone who helps others lose weight, but helping to balance, moderating, and create variety in nutrition for people for a good, healthy style is what she really does for her profession. Alice Liang is an architect who helped designed the mental health hospital in Toronto. The traditional view for mental hospitals is a place to “hide” the people. The residential accommodation Alice and her team designed is really a community that can make the people become a segment of the community in the city. Alice Tong works at a mental wellness center, but she is also a vocalist who focuses on music such as jazz, indie folk, and country music. Her career combines all her passions where she practices as a licensed social worker using music that helps to keep the body and mind good. Nancy Yu is a freelance human rights worker base in India. She found peace in yoga, and she went to India to learn yoga and stayed there for her career to fight against human trafficking.

The panelists were asked to sort the differences in the perceptions and ideas of the good health between the first and second generation of Taiwanese Americans and Canadians. Ruth pointed out the first generation’s fondness for the traditional Taiwanese sauces such as soy sauce and salty spices. The second generation adapts to the western flavors and variety in food that helps to adapt to healthy lifestyle. Alice Tong said the difference is really in the resources that the second generation reaches—the opportunities, for her, were music, higher education learning, and what the first generation, her parents, provided her. Alice Liang and Nancy think the open mind the first generation had in exploring to new countries also brought the second generation more perspectives and the adventurous mind to explore the many ways to improve lifestyle.

The panel concluded with the question on balancing work and life—all panelists agreed that family support is the most effective and the most crucial in the process. Nancy pointed out the support the community also has that gave her the flexibility to balance her life style.

Can We Talk? Intergenerational Communication

By: Liz Tong

Stephanie Yang & Jennifer Kuo facilitated a moving and inspiring discussion for NATWA 1st & 2nd generation members focused around intergenerational communication on Saturday. They started the discussion off with a fun icebreaker where two teams of ten had to compete in a game that could best described as telephone charades; the first person on each team would get a phrase and have to communicate it (through gestures only) to the next person and that person onto the next. It was amusing to watch how a phrase could begin to morph and lose its original meaning so quickly! Seems this was an appropriate analogy of what can happen in intergenerational communication as well, where communication is and can be complicated because what one says and what another hears may not actually be the same thing at all.

The presenters kicked off the talk by giving some guidelines and reminders of ideas that help facilitate intergenerational communication and community building. This included: building together & spending time together (like this conference!), being open to sharing our lives with each other, asking questions, being open to compromise, active listening, sharing stories, , finding balance between being American/Canadian & Taiwanese, and lastly, understanding generational influences and context (ie, what our families situations where, how we grew up, who we grew up around, etc).

As we began the conversations between 1st and 2nd generation members, each generation was separated and asked to come up with a list of “what we think the other generation thinks of us.” This was a fun exercise because it built a sense of identification between our experience of a 1st or 2nd generation member & also built a sense of empathy to know that the other side actually hears what we think of them without defense, but rather, with a sense of humor. A brief excerpt from the 1st generation included: 1^st generations don’t listen & don’t understand, worry too much, nag, have a double standard, invade privacy, are overprotective, expect too much, are workaholics, are conservative, are authoritarian and demanding, are stingy, love them. A brief excerpt from the 2nd generation included: 2^nd generations are rebellious, too American, ungrateful, wasteful, too direct, smart, open-minded, self-centered & selfish, diplomatic, too liberal. As we began to see, these opinions have a story and context from which they come from and it is up to us to be curious and open-minded as opposed to defensive or assuming the other generation understands. We then segued into what I found to be the heart of this discussion which was our personal stories. We broke out into small groups mixed with both generations and listened to each others personal stories including important generational influences in our lives. Personally, as a 2nd generation member, it was moving to hear the range of personal struggle, resilience, & success that the 1st generations shared, as well as being able to share my own story of the struggles of a bicultural experience and how that has shaped me. We found that our stories begin that process of providing the context to help others understand who we are and what makes us who we are. Ultimately I believe good communication should lead to more closeness, and through this discussion, I felt a sense of closeness to these women I had only just met because I believe we all felt heard and seen and in that, a new-found connection.

Great job Stephanie & Jen! Thank you NATWA.

Roundtable Discussion with Dr. Michi Fu

By: Jen Shyu

Michi Fu led an incredible session about the simplicities and complexities of communication, beginning with her question to us – if any of us could relay a successful communication experience whereby we really felt heard by the listener. Ironically enough, the word “heard” was misheard by some of us as “hurt.” I remember asking her to clarify that word because I was one of the people who understood “heard” as “hurt.” Suddenly, this word opened up a can of worms, which Michi gracefully acknowledged and slowly closed, after a couple of NATWA mothers talked about being hurt by their children (i.e. one mother mentioned how hurt she was by her child running away once and not listening to her). Michi tried to focus on the fact that yes, we are hurt when we are not heard. For me, it was much easier to recall unsuccessful communication than it was to recall successful communication, perhaps because struggle in communication causes pain, which has very specific effects on us physically and emotionally, and perhaps because struggle with communication is more rare than success (hopefully). Do we more easily remember the times we laugh or the times we cry?

Another NATWA mom talked about a successful experience though, full of subtlety. Isn’t communication so heavily based on subtleties? This mother spoke of an argument that she was having with her son who wouldn’t listen to her. She said he finally understood her when she told him in English, “I’m an American--don’t I have a right to state my opinion?” The problem was that he was always assuming that his mother’s opinion was actually a directive, telling him to do what she wanted, when in fact, she just wanted to have her opinion heard and then he could then do what he wanted. She said this was the first time he actually realized that yes, she did have a right to her opinion, and that no, he didn’t have to agree with her or do what she thought was best. She just wanted him to hear what she had to say. I often feel that I too sometimes become defensive toward my parents’ opinions that I disagreed with because, when being raised, it was usually in the form of their advice or guidance. Now that I am a grown woman, and they’ve trusted me to make more and more of my own big decisions, it’s easy sometimes to regress to that mode of response that we were used to for most of our lives – to do as we’re told. This tension between generations exists within all cultures, but it’s amazing how common our experiences and the topics of disagreement are as 1^st and 2^nd generation women of Taiwanese heritage (as we saw in Stephanie Yang and Jennifer Kuo’s workshop).

Michi also had us break up into groups to write down all the ways in which we can express strictly from body language that as the listener, we understand the person speaking to us. The first question that arose was whether this understanding could also mean disagreement, and the answer was yes. This was entertaining, watching each person showing off her acting skills – shaking her head yes or no, rolling her eyes, tapping her foot, furrowing her brow, patting the other’s back, stroking her proverbial beard in thought, smiling, laughing, growling in disagreement, putting her hands over her ears, etc. It was surprising to see the variety of gestures that we take for granted in our everyday communication.

The most difficult thing for Taiwanese families is openness and directness. The language issues are not small factors in this flow of communication. I brought up the issue of race as my boyfriend is African-American, and how many 1^st generation Taiwanese do not approve of their daughters or sons marrying African-Americans, but approved of them marrying someone Caucasian. There seems to be a known hierarchy for many Asian-American first generation parents, not just Taiwanese: “if Asian-American children didn’t marry another Asian-American, then marrying Caucasian was ok, but definitely not African-American.” From my conversations with relatives and friends in Taiwan, I know that this is a deep-seeded prejudice that is prevalent in Taiwan because of the low level of interaction between Taiwanese and African-Americans in Taiwan itself. Over the past few years of going there, I’ve noticed that there are not many African-Americans at all, even in Taipei. Therefore, one can imagine an even lesser presence for our great-grandparents, especially in southern Taiwan or in more rural areas. Lack of exposure to anything can breed prejudice, and that’s what I’ve been fighting against since childhood as an Asian-American growing up in rural midwest America. I gave my own example of successful communication with my parents regarding racial equality of all humans and whom we choose to be our partners.

Michi was very good at leading the discussion by asking people to offer suggestions and their own solutions for successful communication from experience rather than Michi’s telling us the “right” way to communicate. She knows that these subtleties of timing and give and take are different for any combination of two people. Michi talked about openness, clarity, and waiting until after an emotional climax subsides to talk over things. This was an important discussion and successful workshop, thanks to Michi and all the NATWA sisters and moms and daughters who participated.

2009 White Elephant Party

by: Tinna Chung 鍾羽婷

NATWA II's first White Elephant Party was a great hit! Our very own Michi graciously opened her home to us and did an awsome job being hostess. NATWA II members were able to bond over some great finger foods, presents, and games. What better way to spend an evening over the holidays, right?

We spent the first few hours snacking on some yummy appetizers and getting to know one another. From college students to accomplished lawyers, all of the women had their own interesting stories to tell. It was a wonderful experience to be a part of as everyone sat around each other and exchanged stories and laughed together.

Then came time for presents! Everyone drew numbers and started tearing into the presents. The White Elephant gift exchange went smoothly but everyone was way too nice about stealing gifts! But I was guilty of this myself. This only means that we need more events for everyone to get to know each other better so no one is shy about stealing gifts at our next White Elephant Party!

After all the presents were opened, we moved onto games. Taboo is always a great favorite of mine. Hilarity ensued as we learned a thing or two about how each other's minds' worked. There was some very clever use of wordplay and there were some very very interesting word associations during the game. All in all, it was great fun and I personally look forward to the next time I get to hang out with these girls!

Member Spotlight: Monique Hawthorne

Monique Hawthorne

Where did you grow up?
My parents moved 9 different places all across the U.S. before I entered the 4th grade, but they ended up settling in Bakersfield, California. Never heard of it? Consider yourself lucky!


Was there a large Taiwanese presence in your community when you were growing up?
Numerically, no - probably can count the number of families on my hands and toes. But, the bond and presence is very strong. The Taiwanese American families in Bakersfield really support each other. If nothing else, someone was always passing around home-made mochi and bah-tzang.

Now?
In Portland, Oregon there is a larger population than in Bakersfield. I'm just getting plugged into it though. I met a lot of great women at the last NATWA mid-year meeting in Portland.

Can you share with us any interesting stories or ideas about being Taiwanese American?
Growing up in Bakersfield, I found it hard to live my Taiwanese-ness and my American-ness in mainstream culture. I was either a "forever foreigner" or an "all American girl." I didn't believe that I could live in this duality: an American patriot who could eat multiple bowls of minced pork rice with chopsticks?

After graduating from high school, I headed to Washington D.C. for a congressional internship and it was there that I was introduced to the world of TAF, ITASA, FAPA, TAC etc. I was hooked! All these people who simultaneously are both Taiwanese and American/Canadian, not having to choose one culture or another, but existing fully in both and thriving. I still remember flying to Grand Rapids, MI for my first TAF summer. It was like coming home to perfect strangers.


What is your profession currently?
Real Estate and Environmental Attorney


Did your Taiwanese heritage influence your current career path? If so, can you tell us what role your heritage played in what you do now?
Yes, to the extent that my parents are a huge part of my Taiwanese heritage, they influenced my career path.

My dad grew up in rural Kaohsiung as a rice farmer's son, and his mom passed away before he was in jr. high. He worked his way through school and chose a profession where he could provide for his father and sisters. His education helped break the cycle of poverty. My mom, on the other hand, grew up in a well-to-do family in Taipei, but was literally raised to be married off. Her parents pulled her out of school to get married. Because of their live journeys, my parents value education above so many things. Did I succumb to the pressure? Yup, you bet. I have the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality. Besides, my parents never got the chance to set me up with any Taiwanese guys, so I consider us even.

Luckily, I like what I do, and it provides me a very credible platform to push the Taiwanese independence agenda.

What advice can you give other young Taiwanese-(north) American women about pursuing a career in North America and maintaining ties to their Taiwanese identity?
No matter what you do in life, do it well. This means above all things loving your family and friends well.

There is no one model on how one can retain her Taiwanese identity. For some, the mere fact that Taiwanese blood runs through veins will be enough. For others, it means that they submerse themselves in Taiwanese community. One thing is for certain: we've all been shaped by our Taiwanese identity and we share a common thread.

Bah-Tzang Event

The Mysterious Bah-Tzang Deconstructed

By: Tinna Chung 鍾羽婷

Ever wonder just how a Bah-Tzang comes together to become that satchel full of tastiness? Well, many curious minds gathered together on August 30th to find out. We all met at Wan-Chen Lo's house down in Irvine to learn how to make Bah-Tzang from scratch. Mrs. Lo has been making bah-tzang from scratch for many years now. She generously opened up her home and basically gave all of us a free cooking lesson.

Taiwanese women of all ages came to learn just what goes into a Bah-Tzang and how to wrap it. As Mrs. Lo explained what she used for the filling and how long to cook each ingredient, you can almost hear 10-15 women furiously take mental notes in hopes that they can re-create it later in their own homes. Then once the introduction to ingredients was over, she quickly led us all to her dining room table where everything needed to construct a bah-tzang was copiously laid out for everyone to dive into. We all stared in awe as Mrs. Lo demonstrated to us how to wrap the leaves just so and stuff the rice and fillings, before tying the parcels up with string. Her deft hands were so quick and precise, we had to ask her to show us over and over again because only a few of us were able to duplicate what we saw. I personally had trouble with every bah-tzang I attempted to make. Mrs. Lo had to give me personal attention with every bah-tzang since my wrapping was sub-par. Still, even with my amateur bah-tzangs in tow, I had a lot of fun learning how to make this traditional taiwanese dish. It was great to giggle along with everyone else as we all struggled to get the folding of the leaves correct and figure out together the best balance of sticky rice, meat, mushrooms and chestnuts.

After we had all the bah-tzangs wrapped up, we put them into a steamer and gathered for a feast. Needless to say, the bah-tzangs were delicious! As we munched on our bah-tzangs we had the time to introduce ourselves formally to each other. Joann also took the opportunity to speak more on what NATWA II is about and what our goals were. As the event closed on a peaceful food coma induced note, we were all able to take a couple more bah-tzangs home with us to enjoy!