Letter of Advice from One Intern to Another

Dear Hanna,
First of all, welcome to NATWA II! I’m very happy that you’re joining us as our intern. I’m sure you’re excited to contribute and help represent this association with the best of your talents. Regrettably I can’t be there physically to tell you of my experiences with NATWA II, but I hope this letter can help convey the amazing journey and great friendships I’ve accumulated in the very short year I was an intern.

As you get acquainted with everyone, you’ll soon learn that you are among amazing ladies from all walks of life. Don’t waste any time to get to know these girls! I’ve found that although we share Taiwanese bloodlines, each person has a uniquely different take on our culture. I loved hearing stories of different upbringings and perspectives on how to live healthily. My first NATWA II event was a cooking session on making bah-tzangs. How cool is that? Growing up in America, my parents were busy working long hours to support the family and never learned nor attempted to make bah-tzangs. My grandparents were living in Taiwan and I rarely had the opportunity to visit them. Thus the opportunity to watch and learn how to make this very Taiwanese dish was fresh and exciting to me. This was my first experience involving NATWA II and already I sensed how important it was to keep up with these events so Taiwanese women could have a great venue to gather together and learn about different aspects of the Taiwanese culture they may have missed out on living in America.

My most unforgettable moments were during the annual NATWA conference in Toronto, Canada. NATWA II had its own set of programs to represent ourselves to the NATWA ladies. The mixing of first generation, second generation and even some super adorable third generations was a remarkable experience. I had so many fun and thought provoking conversations with awesome individuals! What really blew my mind was how there are truly a lot of issues and concerns mainly between the first and second generations but the NATWA conference created a safe, nurturing environment for each person to discuss their concerns or issues and this seems to really help us all understand one another better and open up communication in ways that I haven’t encountered before. Women of all ages stood up and spoke bravely; some spoke with strong voices, some even broke down and showed us all a more vulnerable side. No matter how they chose to express themselves, you can feel the intensity as if we were all connected by power lines.

I was also especially proud that NATWA II had so many amazing girls representing us in hosting workshops and being keynote speaker! I attended each workshop and session with childlike admiration. Before joining NATWA II I’ve never in my life heard any 2nd generation Taiwanese-American speak at a large session fully in Taiwanese. And at the conference, there were many of them! Our keynote speaker was Monique Lee Hawthorne, a lawyer with a heart of gold. Her speech on the slow food movement was delivered in such a way that both first and second generation women were able to relate and expand on this concept. I thought her use of anecdotes from her own experiences involving her parents was brilliant. It was a great way to illustrate how both generations’ way of thinking each have their own advantages and faults. Rather than focusing on each other faults, it is more important to focus on the common goal: the best way you can contribute in protecting our planet so we can all lead healthy lives. There was also a discussion led by Dr. Michi Fu, a very insightful doctor who seems to know you better than you know yourself. Her discussion on the simplicities and complexities of communication garnered the respect of everyone who attended. The whole room was silent, attentively listening for her words of wisdom as she described different scenarios of misinterpretation and solutions on how to avoid them. I found myself nodding my head along with the whole room as we all realized how certain statements and actions have dual meaning and when looked at from a different point of view, can be misinterpreted and snowball into an ugly cycle. Michi also encouraged the room to speak with their own experiences and gracefully suggested solutions on how to communicate and be aware of timing and delivery of what you say. Her leadership of the workshop really helped us all think a little more outside of ourselves and view new perspectives some of us had not realized before. Then Jennifer Kuo and Stephanie Yang expanded on generational communication as they also led a discussion title, “Can We Talk?” Their presentation was awesome! Jam packed with fun games, they had everyone laughing and laughing some more. Both generations literally went wild and ran around hugging each other and sticking stickers all over each other. I loved it!

I could wax on and on about how great the workshops were but I’m sure you will see once you attend them yourself. I also want to tell you about the great stuff that went on in between. Among the amazing speakers, you will also meet a bunch of great girls from all over the North America who are eager to create connections and share on their own thoughts. I became fast friends with several ladies who live in Toronto and found that they all wanted to keep connected, but often have trouble holding events. This spoke volumes to me and makes me really want to encourage ladies of NATWA II in different areas to try to host local events. So I was thrilled to hear that efforts are now being made in Toronto to gather Taiwanese-Canadian women to foster new friendships and connections. It still amazes me to this day that although the NATWA annual conference is only once a year, the friends I made feel like old friendships and I truly hope to keep up in touch with everyone for a long long time.

I’m excited for you to experience your own journey as a NATWA II intern. I can’t wait to hear your stories and adventures as you pave your own way and help further develop NATWA II in becoming a strong presence in the Taiwanese community!

Sincerely,
Tinna Chung
Former NATWA II Intern

Keynote Speech: “Slow Food: Good for You, Good for the Environment”

By: Tinna Chung

Monique Lee Hawthorne Esq. graced us as the Keynote speaker for the NATWA Annual Conference. She spoke on a growing phenomenon that in my opinion could create a great and important change in the world. The idea of slow food is not a widely touted idea yet but should quickly become a household topic.

Monique eloquently began with the history of how the slow food movement began in Italy when Rome tried to prevent a McDonald’s from opening near the Spanish Steps. She then educated us all with the long process in which most of our food must go through before becoming “shelf ready.” It was especially shocking to learn that even our produce had to go through such extensive processing such as flash freezing, freight shipping and multiple check points before being able to be sold in markets. It was also shocking to learn how much waste and pollution is currently being generated because of these extensive processes in order to get food into the markets to be sold. The highlight of her speech was when she took the idea of slow food and further applied to other areas of our lives and showed us how it all ties together and can improve our way of living remarkably. She also incorporated suggestions; easy things we can all do to promote the slow food movement. She mentioned buying produce at your nearby farmer's market to support your local farms, starting your own garden, and making your own compost which in turn helps twofolds because you could use a lot of your own waste to contribute to your compost for growing your own garden. These simple changes can cut down a lot of costs and pollution while developing a healthy way of living. I was also inspired to make changes to my own way of living when Monique mentioned how supporting local farms can help preserve different varieties of produce. It was astounding learn that there are thousands of varieties of potatoes and over 100 varieties of strawberries existing. It made me sad that these varieties will be unavailable over time due to the apathy of the general population. Most people only know what they see sold in markets without a clue that they only see one or two types of strawberries or grapes because those are the only types that make it through the rigorous processing and most likely have the lowest nutritional content.

What also shined brightly throughout Monique's speech were her hilarious anecdotes about her family. Her use of her parents' reluctance to make changes and exaggerated ideas not being able to make a difference helped us all relate to the general apathy of society. However, Monique cleverly used these little stories as examples of how we should reevaluate ourselves and not just point fingers at others. All the NATWA ladies were thoroughly entertained and learned a lot through Monique's amazing speech.

Self Defense with Grayce Wey

By: Tina Chuang

Frightening? It doesn’t have to be. By learning some of the basic principles of self-defense, you can take control of your life and your safety whether you’re at home, in the parking lot of the mall, or in the clutches of an attacker.

A Taiwanese-American known for teaching krav maga and traditional kung-fu, Grayce Wey has devoted her time giving self-defense classes around the community. She returned to her cultural roots several years ago by studying traditional kung-fu. Knowing the fact that the number of domestic violence victims has increased, NATWA II held a self-defense class on March 20^th in the home of member Joann Lo. Wey was invited to teach facts about domestic violence and self-defense and to get the girls ready to learn in action.

When confronted by an attacker, you will probably only have a split second to make the decision as whether to run for help or stay and fight. Contrary to your instincts, running away isn’t always the best solution. “Using your body as a weapon, you can fight your way out of a dangerous situation. You need to know which parts of your body make the best weapons and how to use them,” said Wey. But what are the natural weapons every woman possesses? The class named six parts of the body –hands, elbows, knees, head, feet and teeth. “To truly end an attack and make a successful escape, you’ll need to know which parts of your attacker’s body are the most vulnerable and the most vital. Hit them where it hurts, “said Wey. In order to inflict maximum pain, eyes, groin, and throat are good areas to aim for. “The elbow and forearm make for great weapons against an assailant. The key is to twist at the waist and throw all the weight and power of both your upper and lower body into the hit. When used correctly, the elbow can cause a lot of pain in the ribs, sternum, diaphragm, throat and groin,” said Wey.

Also, the skull is made of very hard bone that can do a lot of damage when brought in contact with the fragile parts of an assailant’s face, particularly the nose. Whether you’ve been grabbed from the front or from behind, slamming your head into an attacker’s face can cause a lot of pain.

By showing the techniques in action, girls in class were paired up for practice. They used their foot to kick an attacker’s ankle, calf, or Achilles’ tendon or use their heel to stomp down on an attacker’s instep.

You don’t have to live in fear. While avoiding dangerous situations in the first place by being aware of your surroundings is the better choice, knowing how to take down an attacker if you have to is vital to your safety.

“In order for any of these moves to be effective, they need to be practiced in a safe environment. Don’t expect to know or remember what to do in the heat of the moment when you’re feeling afraid. Instead, grab a friend or spouse and practice on them. Practice some of the basic moves of self-defense until they feel like second nature to you,” said Wey.

You might just save your own life someday, but even if you never need to employ these skills, the strength and empowerment you’ll feel as a result are a wonderful bonus.

Sunday Panel-Feel Good Inside and Out

By: Amy Lee

The panel on Sunday, “feel good inside and out” featured panelists Ruth Hsueh, Alice Liang, Alice Tong, and Nancy Yu. The panel started with moderator Christine Leu’s introduction of the topic. She mentioned her grandmother in Taiwan who is almost 100 years old who is still feeling good inside and out. While the Canadian accent of “out” intrigued most of the audience, each panelist’s interesting career caught everyone’s attention.

Ruth Hsueh clears up some of the stereotypes people have for her profession as a dietician. People usually think of a dietician as someone who helps others lose weight, but helping to balance, moderating, and create variety in nutrition for people for a good, healthy style is what she really does for her profession. Alice Liang is an architect who helped designed the mental health hospital in Toronto. The traditional view for mental hospitals is a place to “hide” the people. The residential accommodation Alice and her team designed is really a community that can make the people become a segment of the community in the city. Alice Tong works at a mental wellness center, but she is also a vocalist who focuses on music such as jazz, indie folk, and country music. Her career combines all her passions where she practices as a licensed social worker using music that helps to keep the body and mind good. Nancy Yu is a freelance human rights worker base in India. She found peace in yoga, and she went to India to learn yoga and stayed there for her career to fight against human trafficking.

The panelists were asked to sort the differences in the perceptions and ideas of the good health between the first and second generation of Taiwanese Americans and Canadians. Ruth pointed out the first generation’s fondness for the traditional Taiwanese sauces such as soy sauce and salty spices. The second generation adapts to the western flavors and variety in food that helps to adapt to healthy lifestyle. Alice Tong said the difference is really in the resources that the second generation reaches—the opportunities, for her, were music, higher education learning, and what the first generation, her parents, provided her. Alice Liang and Nancy think the open mind the first generation had in exploring to new countries also brought the second generation more perspectives and the adventurous mind to explore the many ways to improve lifestyle.

The panel concluded with the question on balancing work and life—all panelists agreed that family support is the most effective and the most crucial in the process. Nancy pointed out the support the community also has that gave her the flexibility to balance her life style.

Can We Talk? Intergenerational Communication

By: Liz Tong

Stephanie Yang & Jennifer Kuo facilitated a moving and inspiring discussion for NATWA 1st & 2nd generation members focused around intergenerational communication on Saturday. They started the discussion off with a fun icebreaker where two teams of ten had to compete in a game that could best described as telephone charades; the first person on each team would get a phrase and have to communicate it (through gestures only) to the next person and that person onto the next. It was amusing to watch how a phrase could begin to morph and lose its original meaning so quickly! Seems this was an appropriate analogy of what can happen in intergenerational communication as well, where communication is and can be complicated because what one says and what another hears may not actually be the same thing at all.

The presenters kicked off the talk by giving some guidelines and reminders of ideas that help facilitate intergenerational communication and community building. This included: building together & spending time together (like this conference!), being open to sharing our lives with each other, asking questions, being open to compromise, active listening, sharing stories, , finding balance between being American/Canadian & Taiwanese, and lastly, understanding generational influences and context (ie, what our families situations where, how we grew up, who we grew up around, etc).

As we began the conversations between 1st and 2nd generation members, each generation was separated and asked to come up with a list of “what we think the other generation thinks of us.” This was a fun exercise because it built a sense of identification between our experience of a 1st or 2nd generation member & also built a sense of empathy to know that the other side actually hears what we think of them without defense, but rather, with a sense of humor. A brief excerpt from the 1st generation included: 1^st generations don’t listen & don’t understand, worry too much, nag, have a double standard, invade privacy, are overprotective, expect too much, are workaholics, are conservative, are authoritarian and demanding, are stingy, love them. A brief excerpt from the 2nd generation included: 2^nd generations are rebellious, too American, ungrateful, wasteful, too direct, smart, open-minded, self-centered & selfish, diplomatic, too liberal. As we began to see, these opinions have a story and context from which they come from and it is up to us to be curious and open-minded as opposed to defensive or assuming the other generation understands. We then segued into what I found to be the heart of this discussion which was our personal stories. We broke out into small groups mixed with both generations and listened to each others personal stories including important generational influences in our lives. Personally, as a 2nd generation member, it was moving to hear the range of personal struggle, resilience, & success that the 1st generations shared, as well as being able to share my own story of the struggles of a bicultural experience and how that has shaped me. We found that our stories begin that process of providing the context to help others understand who we are and what makes us who we are. Ultimately I believe good communication should lead to more closeness, and through this discussion, I felt a sense of closeness to these women I had only just met because I believe we all felt heard and seen and in that, a new-found connection.

Great job Stephanie & Jen! Thank you NATWA.

Roundtable Discussion with Dr. Michi Fu

By: Jen Shyu

Michi Fu led an incredible session about the simplicities and complexities of communication, beginning with her question to us – if any of us could relay a successful communication experience whereby we really felt heard by the listener. Ironically enough, the word “heard” was misheard by some of us as “hurt.” I remember asking her to clarify that word because I was one of the people who understood “heard” as “hurt.” Suddenly, this word opened up a can of worms, which Michi gracefully acknowledged and slowly closed, after a couple of NATWA mothers talked about being hurt by their children (i.e. one mother mentioned how hurt she was by her child running away once and not listening to her). Michi tried to focus on the fact that yes, we are hurt when we are not heard. For me, it was much easier to recall unsuccessful communication than it was to recall successful communication, perhaps because struggle in communication causes pain, which has very specific effects on us physically and emotionally, and perhaps because struggle with communication is more rare than success (hopefully). Do we more easily remember the times we laugh or the times we cry?

Another NATWA mom talked about a successful experience though, full of subtlety. Isn’t communication so heavily based on subtleties? This mother spoke of an argument that she was having with her son who wouldn’t listen to her. She said he finally understood her when she told him in English, “I’m an American--don’t I have a right to state my opinion?” The problem was that he was always assuming that his mother’s opinion was actually a directive, telling him to do what she wanted, when in fact, she just wanted to have her opinion heard and then he could then do what he wanted. She said this was the first time he actually realized that yes, she did have a right to her opinion, and that no, he didn’t have to agree with her or do what she thought was best. She just wanted him to hear what she had to say. I often feel that I too sometimes become defensive toward my parents’ opinions that I disagreed with because, when being raised, it was usually in the form of their advice or guidance. Now that I am a grown woman, and they’ve trusted me to make more and more of my own big decisions, it’s easy sometimes to regress to that mode of response that we were used to for most of our lives – to do as we’re told. This tension between generations exists within all cultures, but it’s amazing how common our experiences and the topics of disagreement are as 1^st and 2^nd generation women of Taiwanese heritage (as we saw in Stephanie Yang and Jennifer Kuo’s workshop).

Michi also had us break up into groups to write down all the ways in which we can express strictly from body language that as the listener, we understand the person speaking to us. The first question that arose was whether this understanding could also mean disagreement, and the answer was yes. This was entertaining, watching each person showing off her acting skills – shaking her head yes or no, rolling her eyes, tapping her foot, furrowing her brow, patting the other’s back, stroking her proverbial beard in thought, smiling, laughing, growling in disagreement, putting her hands over her ears, etc. It was surprising to see the variety of gestures that we take for granted in our everyday communication.

The most difficult thing for Taiwanese families is openness and directness. The language issues are not small factors in this flow of communication. I brought up the issue of race as my boyfriend is African-American, and how many 1^st generation Taiwanese do not approve of their daughters or sons marrying African-Americans, but approved of them marrying someone Caucasian. There seems to be a known hierarchy for many Asian-American first generation parents, not just Taiwanese: “if Asian-American children didn’t marry another Asian-American, then marrying Caucasian was ok, but definitely not African-American.” From my conversations with relatives and friends in Taiwan, I know that this is a deep-seeded prejudice that is prevalent in Taiwan because of the low level of interaction between Taiwanese and African-Americans in Taiwan itself. Over the past few years of going there, I’ve noticed that there are not many African-Americans at all, even in Taipei. Therefore, one can imagine an even lesser presence for our great-grandparents, especially in southern Taiwan or in more rural areas. Lack of exposure to anything can breed prejudice, and that’s what I’ve been fighting against since childhood as an Asian-American growing up in rural midwest America. I gave my own example of successful communication with my parents regarding racial equality of all humans and whom we choose to be our partners.

Michi was very good at leading the discussion by asking people to offer suggestions and their own solutions for successful communication from experience rather than Michi’s telling us the “right” way to communicate. She knows that these subtleties of timing and give and take are different for any combination of two people. Michi talked about openness, clarity, and waiting until after an emotional climax subsides to talk over things. This was an important discussion and successful workshop, thanks to Michi and all the NATWA sisters and moms and daughters who participated.

2009 White Elephant Party

by: Tinna Chung 鍾羽婷

NATWA II's first White Elephant Party was a great hit! Our very own Michi graciously opened her home to us and did an awsome job being hostess. NATWA II members were able to bond over some great finger foods, presents, and games. What better way to spend an evening over the holidays, right?

We spent the first few hours snacking on some yummy appetizers and getting to know one another. From college students to accomplished lawyers, all of the women had their own interesting stories to tell. It was a wonderful experience to be a part of as everyone sat around each other and exchanged stories and laughed together.

Then came time for presents! Everyone drew numbers and started tearing into the presents. The White Elephant gift exchange went smoothly but everyone was way too nice about stealing gifts! But I was guilty of this myself. This only means that we need more events for everyone to get to know each other better so no one is shy about stealing gifts at our next White Elephant Party!

After all the presents were opened, we moved onto games. Taboo is always a great favorite of mine. Hilarity ensued as we learned a thing or two about how each other's minds' worked. There was some very clever use of wordplay and there were some very very interesting word associations during the game. All in all, it was great fun and I personally look forward to the next time I get to hang out with these girls!